The Messy Motherhood Life

I laid in bed this morning all alone praying that the kids would sleep in. The blankets were so warm and I was finally sunk perfectly into the mattress where it felt as if it were hugging my body.

I fell back to sleep after my husband kissed my forehead as he headed off to work.

I heard some fake coughs some time later.

I kept my eyes closed.

Please let that be my imagination. I'm not ready to get up. 

The fake coughs came again and hung in the air.

I opened one eye.

There he was. My little man staring me down from the side of the bed.

"Mommy, I'm wet!" he said in a sad little voice.

Mommyhood calls. Every single day.

Sometimes I feel like complaining that I don't get the sleep that I want. The time that I want to myself. The hour I would love to sit down with a cup of coffee and some chocolate and have some time to write, craft, read or any other activity I was able to do whenever I wanted before kids.

However as I dragged myself out of my warm comfy hole in my bed I knew that there is no where else I'd rather be at that moment.

It's exhausting taking care of little people who demand things (we are working on our manners!) all day long. It drains your time, your energy, yourself completely. It's hard. It's difficult. But, it's real. It's life. It's love. It's worthwhile.

When I imagined motherhood when I was younger I thought how beautiful and easy it would be. I imagined being able to juggle a baby on the hip while cooking supper in a perfectly clean house waiting for my charming husband to arrive home from work.

Laugh all you want.

At least I got the charming husband.

After these few years of motherhood I have realized that motherhood is messy, but it is beautiful in it's own crazy, misshapen way. It's easy to miss the beauty if you aren't trying to create it, if you aren't focusing on it. You can easily begin to list off all of the imperfect, irritating things about your day as a mom or you can choose to embrace the moments in which you put others before yourself; choosing that path of unselfish and grateful love.

I would love to sleep in. I would love to get up and take a long, hot shower and have time to do my hair and make-up. That is not my reality. One day it will be, but for now I will enjoy seeing my son staring me down telling me he needs a diaper change. It's my messy, beautiful life and I'm going to live it fully. 

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