Sucking it Up


Most of my life I learned how to be really good at sucking it up. 

Truly.

I became a pro. 

If someone was mad at me, I was really good at sucking it up to them. 

Gifts? Apologies? Kind words? Going out of my way to do what they thought was right? 

Check. Check. Check. And check. 

I did this even when I felt they were in the wrong. I did this even when they had made me do this a million times. I did this when they were the ones that were being a bully about it. 

I always felt compromised. 

I always felt a little angry. 

Angry that they could treat me with such disrespect when we were suppose to be friends. 

Angry that I was always the one giving. 

Angry that I was the one always apologizing when I didn't think I did anything wrong. 

Angry that they felt they could act like we weren't friends unless I made it up to them for simply being myself. 

And let me tell you...I finally became fed up. 

Fed up with being myself and having to apologize for it. 

Fed up with having friends that didn't accept me for who I was and what I believed in. 

They didn't have to agree with me but just accept that I have different opinions because I am a different person. 

I was done. 

25 years of it and I knew I didn't want to spend another 25 sucking it up. 

So I changed my mentality. 

I changed the way I treated these situations. 

I decided if they were truly my friend they could suck it up themselves, put on their big girl panties and agree to disagree with me. 

I decided I was done constantly apologizing for simply being myself. 

Because true friends accept you for who you are. 

Because true friends share with you instead of ignore you. 

Because true friends laugh about the past and mistakes. 

Because true friends embrace who you are as the person God made you instead of making you apologize for it. 

I'm far from perfect.

I'm totally aware of that. 

I know that His perfect blood covers me. I know that His love can shine through me. I know that He made me the way I am for a purpose, for His purpose. I know that He doesn't want me to feel shamed because of who I am. I know that He wants me to embrace who I am fully because I am His child and He loves me more than I can imagine. 

He has created us all to be in His image but that doesn't mean we are all the same. 

He has a different purpose for each of us. 

He knows who we each are and loves us despite our flaws. 

He doesn't want us to constantly be apologizing for who He made us. 

He wants us to love ourselves and the beautiful mess that He has created us to be. 

Yes, the beautiful mess because we are all full of flaws and weaknesses.

For when I am weak then I am strong...

And yet again, my bible verse for the year. 

I know this verse was chosen for me. 

It may be my life verse. 

A reminder that when we allow others to see our flaws and our weaknesses we can better glorify the Lord. We can better show how mighty He is. We can better show how God has made us strong because of those weaknesses. 

For those of you who continue to apologize for who He made you...stop it. 

Embrace yourself. Embrace your weaknesses. Embrace your flaws. 

Let others see the strength of the Lord through you. 

Let others see that God has made you beautiful through Him. 

You do not have to be everyone's friend. 

Truly. 

You do not. 

You do not have to be well liked by everyone.

Truly.

You do not. 

Do you believe that God wants you to please others or to please Him? 

Be kind to others. Show love to others. Apologize when you are wrong. However, do not do these things to suck it up to others because they continue to refuse to accept you for who God made you. Do these things because God wants us show others His love. 




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