Motherhood is Overwhelming

This sweet girl has brought some amazing sunshine. Her smile lights up the days of her parents and her siblings. Her brother lives to make her laugh and exclaims with enthused joy when she rolls over. There isn't a slightest doubt that she was meant to grow our family's happiness. Even though the immense amount of delight she gives is great this third child has also brought me an overwhelmed chaos that has incredibly challenged me as a mother. 

Many have felt overwhelmed before me. I'm not dumb enough to think that I'm the only mother suffering from mothering chaos. I've seen the survivors with my own two eyes. I've read their triumphant stories. I've taken in their creases that grace their beautiful faces marked by joy, worry and frustration. I'm aware of the astonishing history of mothers before me and the battles that have been won and lost. However, even though the knowledge of these victorious mothers is there before me, this knowledge does not always aid in the repair of my daily sanity. 

The truth is that motherhood is hard.

It's messy. 

It brings you to tears of joy and tears of exhaustion. 

My husband will come home at the end of his work day and the words hi honey barely escape my lips before I thrust the baby into his own exhausted arms because I simply cannot take one more moment walking and bouncing a fussy baby. The screaming makes me scream. The crying makes me cry. I'm beaten down until I am completed depleted. I want to curl up under the safety of the blankets on my bed that I pray to make it into every single day. I want to stay there. I don't want to come out and face the mayhem that I usually refer to as my kids. 

There are moments you feel like a failure.

I love them Lord but I can't do this. I cannot take another moment of a baby teething at my nipple. I cannot take another moment of a toddler going into an absolute frenzy because I accidentally did something for her and didn't give her the option to do it herself. I cannot take the preschooler losing his mind over the fact that I wouldn't let him walk around the house shaking his "wee wee" in front of sisters. 

I can't do this. 

I can't do this.

I can't do this.

And I truly can't.

Not by myself.

Not on my own.

I do not have the strength to push on without the Lord. 

I've heard to be a good mother you just have to continue to not give up. 

I disagree.

Give up.

Give it all up. 

Give your overwhelming chaos to the Lord. 

The times that I have been most overwhelmed in my mothering are the times that I forget to let God help me. For some reason we believe that if we accept help we are weak. However when we except God's help He takes our weakness and He makes us stronger through Him. 

Allow Him to make you strong.

Allow Him to help you. 

Allow Him to guide your mothering because motherhood is overwhelming.

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