May 30th, 2015

Our littlest baby of the bunch is officially ONE today. 

Even though I am sitting over here in disbelief, I also sit over here in constant prayer and struggle. 

Oh Lord! I pray I am raising her to be a girl that will chase you, love you, praise you and share you.

They say that becoming a mother changes you. 

I don't believe that. 

I believe that you are given the opportunity to grow. You are given the opportunity to become so much  more than yourself. You are given the opportunity, the responsibility to be more than the woman you were before you were handed a child. 

Not everyone takes this opportunity or some take it too late, but there are many of us moms who knew the moment we felt that flutter of life within us or saw their adorable face through a photo or looked into their eyes the very first time that we were given so much more than we ever imagined. 

God allows us to become more and to do more when we become a mother. It's not easy. In fact I believe it is probably one of the more difficult things we are challenged by. 

We are responsible for our children. Not just physically, not just mentally, not just emotionally, but spiritually. 

My little girl, my already one. 

I am responsible for her. For every part. Just as I am responsible for my other two children. 

I love to see her grow, to explore, to learn, to absorb. 

It's amazing to watch her little mind turn, to see her legs full of rolls hurrying along chasing life in awe. 

One year. 

365 days. 

She's not too young. She's learning. She's grasping concepts. She's soaking it all in. I am positive she knows Jesus, but as a mother I constantly pray and hope that I am doing enough.

And you know what?

I think that's a good thing. 

When we come to that point in our motherhood where we feel like we've got it all figured out, we are walking blindly. 

Call it ignorance. Call it insanity. Call it whatever, but there should never come a point in our mothering that we feel we have it all figured out. 

We are mothering individuals. Individuals who think for themselves, who scream at you because they didn't get to open to the door first, who argue until they wear rain boots with every outfit they own.

We are imperfect mothers only made perfect with the love of Christ and that doesn't mean that our actions, our words and sometimes even our intentions are just means that when we allow God to take control of our mothering His grace covers all. 

I want my kids to know that I make mistakes. I want my kids to understand that I am far from perfect. I want them to know that I actually enjoy the fact that perfection is unattainable for me, for them. 

And yes, these are all the thoughts that race through my head as my little girl is turning one. 

She's one. 

A year ago God decided May 30th, 2015 was her day. Her day to come forth into this broken world to be parented by praying parents who know she is going to light up the dark world with her contagious smile. 

May God give the strength, love, grace and peace all of us mothers need to continue to grow our beautiful children to better His kingdom and may we celebrate many birthdays with cake, balloons, laughter and joy. 

Mothering is a choice. I am grateful God allowed me to make the choice to mother my three children and I am incredibly grateful for May 30th, 2015. 

Happy 1st Birthday Adlee Brynn! You are truly the bubbly joy that makes our family complete. 

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