the fog

Related imageYou know those moments when you feel like you are just walking through a fog...

Those moments that sometimes last an hour, a day, a month or possibly even an entire year...

They can be brief but they can also consume a good part of your life...

Those moments of fog are moments that we are lost.

Lost to ourselves and because we are lost to ourselves we are lost to others.

Why would I want to talk about this?

Because I think that we have all walked through the fog at least once before in our life and maybe you are currently experiencing a moment of fog right now yourself.

It's okay.

But I want you to take a moment to breathe. To reflect on why you are wandering in this thick cloud that doesn't allow you to see the sun or really to see at all.

This fog allows you to continue to be disoriented from your life.

I know, because I've been there.

My fog was something I remember describing to my counselor as a deep pit. This pit was so deep that I couldn't see the sun and I couldn't figure out how to climb out of it. All I saw was darkness. All I felt was nothing. I was consumed and lost in this deep hole of nothingness.

This wasn't many years ago....7 or so.

It was a time that I had realized how forgotten I felt. Not forgotten by others. Not forgotten by God. Forgotten by myself.

And if we really want to get to the uncomfortable, raw part of it all is that I couldn't remember who I was, what I wanted, what God's plans for me might have been. I couldn't remember why I had a relationship with God, why I was His daughter, why He chose me.

I realized I had been in the fog for a long time. I didn't notice the fog immersing itself around me and before I knew it the fog had become my life. It was my normal.

I very fortunately had a support system in my family and my crawl out of the dark pit was quicker than I anticipated. I began focusing on me. I began focusing on what I had lost in that time of fog. I began regaining the confidence that had been stripped of me.

This process has been stretched out.

Before I knew it God's blessing were overflowing and He gave me a husband that helped me with my journey, a man of deep encouragement and love. He gave me someone who would help rebuild myself into the woman God had planned for me.

And before you begin to think it was easy with such a wonderful man by my side...God blanketed me with the title of "mother" which came with an entire new set of insecurities.

Motherhood is tough.

It's an experience that can make you become stronger in yourself or lose yourself among the sleepless nights, diapers, feedings, laundry and more.

Many times motherhood is the first time women experience a time of fog.

And I understand.

It's not selfish to wonder where the attention on your own life went when it all shifted to that sweet, wriggly baby you hold in your arms most of the day.

It's a time of transition and another time where we must find grace and strength to push through, to try to not get lost in fog, to lean on God.

There will be many moments in your life that the fog could creep in.

You are on a journey.

God brings you challenges and joys and both of these are times of growth.

We are constantly being molded into who God needs and knows us to be at that moment in our life. It may hurt sometimes but those moments where you are completely elated are made thousands times more great because you had those difficult moments.

Those moments of fog are not moments that are meant to pain us, to remain lost in.

Those moments of fog are meant for a time of great growth.

I know in those moments you cannot see and sometimes you cannot feel. I understand that feeling of wandering, feeling like you are completely stuck. Feeling like you will never feel the warmth of the sun again.

But you will.

Those moments of basking in great sunlight of accomplishment, love, happiness or pure joy are felt so much deeper because of the growth you had to go through to get there.

I've had people ask me if I would ever change anything about my past.

The deep truth is I would never change the path God has set me on because it has gotten me to where I am today.

The truth is I am where I am because God has a plan.

His plan is perfect.

It may not be a plan that is painless.

But it is perfect in the way that I am who God wants me to be at this very moment in my life because of the journey I have been on.

That fog I've experienced is part of that journey.

I own it.

I remember how I felt, how I was at that time in my life.

I see who I am today.

I know who I am today is made better because of those moments.

Don't ever think you are the only one who walks through thick fog or is stuck in a deep pit. Your plan is made. Such goodness is in store for you. Don't allow that pit to hold you. Don't allow that fog to keep you from looking forward.

You are His beautiful child. He has not forgotten about you. He has never left you.

You may have left yourself. You may have forgotten yourself. But He has not.

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